If I wanted
by zndr.71
Summary: One minute Yuki is thinking about a memory, the next thing you know it is happening all over again. Meeting, fan club, Black Haru, empty class room... A Yuki/Hatsuharu fanfic
1. Chapter 1

You came here for a story, so I shall deliver you one. I won't ramble this time. The only little note I have was that this was fun to write. It took some guts for me to make a T rated fic. I'm always busy writing my M/R rated stuff. Perverted me. But I did it. I made rated T one. -dances-

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If you think I do, you need to see a doctor. I have Hatori's number if you need it. ;) Yes, yes I do.

Oh and as a warning, I mostly use things from the anime. I haven't finished the manga and my mind can go farther into imagination land with the anime.

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_Yuki's POV_

It was a lovely spring day. The school day was half way over and everyone was enjoying the nice weather outside eating lunch.

I sat on the warm grass, a book in my hand. I wasn't reading it though. To much was on my mind. I first tried to listen to Miss Tohru and Momiji who were talking about something I wasn't quite interested in. My eyes went over to Kyo, who was laying down, eyes closed and bathing in the sunlight. It amazed me how he could be so carefree, practically sleeping in front of the school. I shook my head and then looked to Hatsuharu.

He had his eyes on Momiji and Tohru, seeming fairly interested in the conversation, but keeping that rather blank expression on his face. I took this time to look my cousin over. He was sitting with his legs crossed on the ground, leaning back on his arms gently. He must have realized I was looking at him because he slowly turned his gaze to me, offering a small smile.

I smiled back, turning my gaze back to my book. It was nice seeing Haru smile. He generally always looked like he held no emotion or any care, so when he would either smile or frown it awoken something in me. I stared at the letters of my book, holding no interest in that either. My mind crept back to that smile Haru had given me. It was the smile of White Haru. Not like the mischievous grin Black Haru had when he was fighting someone, or teasing someone. Not like when he had me against a wall, so close to kissing me…

I shut my eyes at the memory. It had happened a few times before. Black Haru would show up and he would do as normal, flirt and make rude obscene comments to everyone around, not to mention he had a strong like to aim those comments at me. There were a few times where somehow we would end up alone when he was like that. He'd get close to me, trying to push himself onto me, trying to kiss me or touch me. I was always stronger though and would push him away, rolling my eyes at his idiocy. He was truly someone else when he turned Black.

But then…the last time…

Lately something has been happening. I've found myself liking his attention. Found that I would almost seek it out. I looked forward to the times I would see him at school. I would steal secret glances at him.

I was afraid to understand what this meant, but I'm not stupid. I know.

And then it happened. He turned Black and I pulled him away, not wanting him to start a fight. He'd already gotten in a few with Kyo, and I feared he was going to be suspended if he kept it up. So I did as a good cousin and friend would, and pulled him away from Kyo and into an empty class room to cool down.

That's when he looked at me like that. With…lust?

I was leaned against the wall, waiting for him to turn white so we could get to class. Before I knew it he had an arm holding himself up against the wall right near my head. He gave that mischievous grin and said something. I didn't hear what he said though. For some reason I was just staring at him as he got closer. We were only an inch away when we heard a class door slam shut near us. I jumped and quickly moved, realizing what was happening. It didn't take but a few seconds later for him to go white again.

Quickly I shut my book and stood up. "I forgot, I have a student council meeting I have to attend." I said, putting my book in my bag and zipping it up.

"Oh, right!" Tohru said. "Are you going to be staying late after school?" She asked.

I shook my head. "No, I should actually be able to leave right after school. Would you like me to walk you to work?" I asked.

"Oh you don't have to do that." She said quickly.

I gave her my pleasant princely smile. "It's no trouble Miss Honda. It's a nice day, I wouldn't mind." I stated, putting my bag over my shoulder.

"Well, If you don't mind." She said with a smile. "I'll wait for you out here then."

I nodded and turned to leave walking back up to the building. I got about half way there until I heard someone running after me.

I turned around to see Hatsuharu coming up behind me. "Haru? Did you need something?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah, I just thought I'd walk with you." He said simply, shrugging.

"You don't have to do that." I said quickly.

Haru smiled gently. "Now you sound like Miss Tohru." He joked. "I don't mind." He said, using the last of my words I said to Tohru.

I turned around to head back to the building and he stepped up to walk beside me, grabbing on to the sleeve of my school uniform in his hand. I was used to Haru's possessive nature, and it didn't bother me. That was just normal Haru.

"What's your meeting for?" He asked, sounding curious.

"It for a fundraiser." I answered. "The school is trying to raise more money for the sports teams, and we are trying to run through a few ideas."

When we got to the door he took a step forward and opened the door for us. Once we got in he went back to his place and grabbed my sleeve.

My mind started to linger on the moment of heat when his hand brushed against my wrist for a split second.

"Sounds boring."

I looked up at him confused for a second until I came back to reality and realized he was talking about the meeting. "Oh, yes, it is." I gave him one of my true, but small smiles.

He smiled back, but as he looked ahead he started to frown.

I looked up the hall to see what had made him frown. I sighed unhappily as I watched my 'fan club' come marching to me.

"Prince Yuki!" "Oh lovely Prince Yuki!" A few of them said, coming in closer.

I gave them one of my smiles, knowing I'd need to just endure this. "Hello. Is there something I can help you with?" I asked politely.

"Oh, no. We came to help you!" One said. I could never remember their names.

"Help me?" I asked, "I don't understand."

"We came to walk you to your meeting!" Another said. "But we found this trouble maker was around you, and we decided to make sure he wasn't trying to lead you off somewhere." "Are you okay?" "Has he hurt you?" The others said, taking turns talking.

"Oh, no." I said, keeping that smile on my face. "Hatsuharu was actually walking me to my meeting now. Why do you ask if I'm hurt?" I asked, "Surely you don't think my cousin would hurt anyone." I said, feeling this said cousin tighten his grip on my sleeve.

"But he almost attacked President Takei Makoto on the first day!" One said. "It might not be wise to be around him. He might hurt your chances at becoming President, Prince Yuki!" Another added. "Prince, we just care about you, that's all." "Yeah we love you!" "We'll take you to your meeting now. You'll be late if we don't hurry!" I watched as the girls tried to usher me away.

"Damn you, all this talk is really pissing me off!"

I slowly turned around and sure enough, from the look in his eyes, I could tell Haru had just turned black.

"First off, you have no right talking about me like I'm not here, got it?" He said, stepping up close to one girl, his face in hers. The girl shrank back, scared by the look in Haru's eyes. "Second of all you are going to stop telling him what the hell he can do and who he can and can't hang out with." He said angrily, leaning in to the second girl who also seemed scared. He turned to the last one and glared at her now.

"You make me fucking sick!" He hissed. "You say you care for Yuki? That you love him?" He shook his head and growled. "You don't even know him." He said. "Have you ever put up with him when he's still half asleep? Have you ever nursed him back to health when he's sick? Have you ever been there through the bad times? Have you ever really seen him happy? Seen him sad?" He stopped, his fists shaking at his side. "The answer is NO!" He shouted.

I quickly pulled at his arm, away from the girls. His anger was getting away from him and I was afraid he might actually hurt the girls.

"You make me sick, you damn brats!" He called, as I pulled him down the hall by his arm. "You stupid, selfish, whores!" He then laughed manically as we turned a corner.

"Oh come on Yuki, I was just staring to have some fun with them." He said, that evil smile still on his face.

I pulled him into an empty classroom and shut the door. "What the hell were you thinking!?" I asked, leaning against the door and looking at Haru.

He shrugged. And I just shook my head angrily.

"Oh don't be mad, Yuki love." He said seductively, walking over to me. He tried to corner me by putting his arms on either side of me, but I quickly ducked and moved. I was not about to be cornered again. My heart was beginning to race.

It's anger, that's why my heart is beating so fast. It's because I'm angry.

He turned and smirked at me, walking back over slowly. "Oh come on." He said. "You know everything I said was true."

I really did think about that for a minute. He was right.

"You know who has done all that stuff though?" He smirked, that dangerous look in his eye.

I looked down, knowing what he was going to say. And he was right again.

I could feel his hand under my chin, taking my gaze off the floor and to his eyes. "I asked a question, Yuki." He said quietly, slowly backing my up.

I could have stopped him, I could have pushed him away or pulled out of his grasp. He wasn't even pushing me hard. He was just guiding me. I could get away, I should get away.

I felt my back get pressed against a wall. His right hand kept a hold of my chin, as if he was afraid I'd look away. I wouldn't though. I was to entranced by staring at his eyes. That look was there again. It was lust, I knew that now. And I didn't want to hide from it for some reason. His left hand came up near my head, him now leaning on the wall I was pressed against.

"I'll tell you who." He said roughly. His right hand came off my chin and rested on my hip. I held my breath as I felt his hand go under my shirt. I sucked my bottom lip nervously into my mouth, biting on it. His hand now rested on my waist, his warm hand sending electricity through my body.

"Me." He said. "I've been the one who's done all that stuff. I'm the one that is still here. And I'm the one that's with you now. Making you feel like this." His lips curled into another smirk. "And I'm the one that can make you feel even better."

I gasp of air entered my mouth as I felt his hand slide from my waist to by back, arching me nearer to him. I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything. All I did was stare up at him, my cheeks getting red.

He leaned in closer to me, his mouth grazing over my ear. "You're so cute, Yuki. Blushing like that…" He chuckled, his breath making my eyes snap shut. He pulled away and I felt his breath on my lips. Then just when I thought he was going to close the gap. He didn't

I opened my eyes so see him looking down at me, a confused look. Slowly I watched realization appear on his face. He had turned back to white Haru.

"Um…" He mumbled, dropping his hand from by back, leaving me feeling cold. "I'm…sorry." He said, taking a step back. "I guess…I turned black…I must have." He put everything together and then looked up at me. He took another step back, looking down on the floor.

I watched him, leaning away from the wall now and breathing slowly. "Don't apologize, Haru." I said, taking a step to him.

"But I was going to…I don't want you to think I was going to make you." His normal, non emotional face was back.

It was my turn to look down. "Haru…you weren't making me…I…" I could feel heat raise in my cheeks. "I could have gotten away… if I wanted…"

"But, you didn't." He said, making an obvious point.

I looked up and nodded. "I didn't." I repeated, hoping he'd understand.

A minute went by, he just watched me. I stood there uncomfortable, wondering what I should do.

My eyes snapped back up to his as he began to walk back to me. Without thinking I felt myself bump into the wall again.

He slowly walked over to me and took a tight hold of the front of my shirt. I looked up at his eyes and this time I didn't see lust there. I saw something else, but I'm not sure what it was. It was softer, kinder.

Without realizing, I grabbed a hold of his arm that was clutched to my shirt. It wasn't to pull him away, but to actually pull him closer. I couldn't take my eyes off his face though.

His face became closer to mine until we were only an inch away again.

"Don't pull away this time." I muttered, so quiet I could barely hear myself.

As if to answer me he pushed his body closer to me.

My mind was consumed by him. My eyes flutter shut as I felt his breath mingle with mine.

Then I felt it. His warm lips grazing over mine.

I was lost. I didn't remember where I was, or what time it was, or even what had happened only a few minutes ago. All I knew was that Haru's lips were against mine.

He gently rolled his lips over mine, taking my bottom lip in his mouth and sucking on it.

I had never kissed anyone before, and my head was spinning. My hand began to shake on his arm, I didn't know what to do.

He pulled away gently and I knew he was looking at me, but my eyes were held closed. "Relax." He muttered. I slightly nodded, feeling his hand leave my shirt and go to my side.

Once again his lips were on mine. I felt my own hand go to his shirt and clutch it tightly, pulling him closer.

I felt his tongue against my lip, and without thinking, I opened my mouth slightly.

Soon I felt his tongue dart in my mouth. His tongue prodded mine, licking at it.

My breath was gone. All I could think about was how his tongue roamed around my mouth, licking at the roof of it and searching it.

I slowly raised my tongue to meet his, gone over by passion now.

I don't know how long passed until we pulled away. All I knew was that I was panting for breath, and so was he.

I looked up at him, wondering what was going on. I had not expected any of this to happen today. What was going to happen now? What did I want to happen now?

He must have read my face, which I was to busy thinking to try to cover with out emotions. "Yuki, your meeting." He said lightly, but he didn't step away at first.

I nodded slowly, biting on my lower lip which still tasted of him.

"Come on." He said, pulling away and grabbing my sleeve to pull me off the wall. "We can talk later. We have to get you to your meeting before your fan club finds us and tries to kill me."

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_Okay…so…-grin-…I was thinking. If I get some reviews telling me to go on with this then I will. I don't know if it's any good or even if people read these much. But if I get some reviews and you guys like it and want more, then I'll write more. Until then, it's just a one-shot. And if I do write more, just be warned that it might turn to a rated M one…tehehe._

_-Zander_


	2. NOTE! I'm Back!

This is dedicated to: EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED AND STUCK WITH ME

You all are amazing. I've had so many wonderful reviews and I've been a very bad boy to not write more and just abandon you all for so long. –nod- (Lots has been going on though….)You all deserve more, so I shall continue this in a MUTLI-CHAP and M RATED story. It is 5:21 in the morning at the moment and I have yet to sleep, so I shall do that and dream up wonderful plans for this. I can't wait to start writing again. I am going to write it as a separate story though. That way I can have my cake and eat it too. I can have my T rated fic and then I can have a M rated one. It will take place right after this one ends, so it'll make sense and all tie together. If you've read my other work it'll be like how I have one fic called "Silence" and then it goes into "But This Time" (Kyouya/Tamaki from Ouran fanfictions).

SO MAKE SURE TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THAT! I think if you favourite me as an author you get updates for new stories. ^^

-love and hugs for everyone-

You really are amazing. Thank you for making my ego swell up… I mean…. Nah, that's what I mean. :P

SO! I'm rambling (sign that I'm bloody well tired). All in all, keep checking my profile for a new M RATED, MULTI-CHAPTER, Hatsuharu/Yuki fic. I love you all and thank you for all the kind words. You all are the reason I'm writing more. So keep me updated with what you like, what you don't, ideas, questions, comments, etc. Anything in particular you want? Should it be white Haru or black Haru that tops Yuki first. ;p

Laters!

- Zander


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